olfactory memory

i’m sixty-seven. my birthday is in two weeks. i’m at a knitting club, sitting across from a woman 3 years my junior. she works here at the rec part-time. i’m retired and filling in my schedule with community hobby clubs. “And your husband? she asks, needles sorting through tight loops. “I’m a widow.” Her handContinue reading “olfactory memory”

purgatory

8.23.2019. a lady holding onto her husband’s arm. he has one closed eye, a cigarette sticking out of his mouth, and a slanted grin. as long as they’re together, they skip on heavenly clouds. a man with bright blonde hair, wearing a backback decorated in dirt. he looks at me like we’re past life friends.Continue reading “purgatory”

the human experience

6.20.2019. location: bored, sitting on a bar stool. we’re all licking the same bottle of beer. having epiphanies on love. thinking out of lust. same eyes, peeking at things in grandeur. i love the Idea, not the reality. politics matter! bullshitting to deflect in all circumstances. let me tell you a funny story: i amContinue reading “the human experience”

to be human

7.16.2020. we spoke of obligations when the door opened, leading one out. a sunny day. fled to seek Detachment. a bug snuck in and circled around us. i two-stepped as others ran near it in rage. we’re no longer barbarians, yet we still must kill what disturbs us. our fingernails have purple polish on them sinceContinue reading “to be human”

grateful

6.25.2019. i used to tell myself i had big eyes to See what others cannot. a tiny mouth to whisper secrets or say it all in one breath. talk fast. the thoughts that plagued me stared at my profile. they wonder when i’ll fall again, claiming to feel my low vibration, tempting me into anotherContinue reading “grateful”

post-run

5.30.21. earbuds in, cord hanging loose, music blaring: I observe the scenery. Somber faces on auto-pilot. I wonder if my own face appears as detached or curious as I would hope. I concentrate on my movement, and ruminate on my growth. the past years have been sessions on defining boundaries. why do I seek anythingContinue reading “post-run”

Be Alone

in a world led by people sickly obsessed with temporary things — having undistracted time alone is a connection with your soul. “do you love yourself?” is not a complex question, yet it is feared. in their fearfulness, they confuse being alone with loneliness. codependency over self-reliance. independence is self-love through mindfulness, through the mutualContinue reading “Be Alone”

beginnings

new beginnings wait for us to keep an open mind. they sit at the steps until we squeeze past them to the door. singing to us these impressive, impending triumphs. “be brave.” we don’t listen. we are rebel children without strategy. we live with anger. pride as our dishonest guide. black paint on our walls.Continue reading “beginnings”

Our Darkness

share a secret with reflections of our darkness. “I’ve never told anyone this.” if i fix her, maybe i can fix the hollow parts of me. oh. i can just fix me? as the others were outside being carefree, he said, staring at the TV’s trauma unfold, “Happened to me, too…” not an overshare, aContinue reading “Our Darkness”