to be human

7.16.2020. we spoke of obligations when the door opened, leading one out. a sunny day. fled to seek Detachment. a bug snuck in and circled around us. i two-stepped as others ran near it in rage. we’re no longer barbarians, yet we still must kill what disturbs us. our fingernails have purple polish on them sinceContinue reading “to be human”

post-run

5.30.21. earbuds in, cord hanging loose, music blaring: I observe the scenery. Somber faces on auto-pilot. I wonder if my own face appears as detached or curious as I would hope. I concentrate on my movement, and ruminate on my growth. the past years have been sessions on defining boundaries. why do I seek anythingContinue reading “post-run”

misunderstood

I used to keep all of my feelings nuzzled inside, and when they seeped out, I learned to joke to explain it all. Charm them! Or: I’d fight to say bare minimum. Walls. Highly sensitive, I didn’t know how to put words to feelings. Too many feelings! I sat in my front yard and ranContinue reading “misunderstood”

Be Alone

in a world led by people sickly obsessed with temporary things — having undistracted time alone is a connection with your soul. “do you love yourself?” is not a complex question, yet it is feared. in their fearfulness, they confuse being alone with loneliness. codependency over self-reliance. independence is self-love through mindfulness, through the mutualContinue reading “Be Alone”

Red Hoodie

I’m nineteen, walking a dog at 2 AM. I spot Red Hoodie. He pauses. I walk faster. I make the block 3 times after. 1st time: ignores his conversation partner. 2nd time: is gone. 3rd time: follows me in his car. I look at the sidewalk to guide me back home. I’m twenty-four with aContinue reading “Red Hoodie”

Burden

stay quiet in fear you may actually be seen. shout harsh words, spitting into the air like punches may be thrown. still a scared, scarred little girl controlling her commanding attention now. thinking before speaking: aren’t I wise? an analytical rant, followed by an ignorant and privileged aside. canibesmallercanibesmallercani anywhere that will seize me upContinue reading “Burden”

Shadow

11.21.18 I’m in a mood, I say. But this underlying chaos rises too close every time I speak. I’m just tired, I think. Clouds of puffy smoke dance inside of me, leaning against the Exit. I spot my shadow. She is impatient. She is a warrior, ready for this stagnancy to pass. Slow and steady,Continue reading “Shadow”

masculinity (the ego)

i was not created to fuel the male ego. nor my own. entitlement leads to a toxic karmic path. i am nobody, and neither are you. we do not float along to slut shame, or to sneer at our peers for things we misconstrue. do you know me? i don’t know you. i am anContinue reading “masculinity (the ego)”