Purpose in Purses

2.26.2019. hoarding all of my assumed necessities in a pink Coach bag. where’s my vape? she asked. leaning against a table as two heavy Kate Spades smack me, their blonde owners rush towards smiling faces. i slip away from the table, and return to another hit by another Kate whose owner is a tall, hostileContinue reading “Purpose in Purses”

psycho

2.19.2019. the pause before the scene begins: a white blank screen. i scream in my head, yet smile delicately. American Psycho appears on the TV. “you’re crazy.” paralyzing fear has me wrapping my body with my arms. i’m sitting next to an opportunist. my dreamworld is a distorted reality. “i’m psycho,” said with a laugh.Continue reading “psycho”

to be human

7.16.2020. we spoke of obligations when the door opened, leading one out. a sunny day. fled to seek Detachment. a bug snuck in and circled around us. i two-stepped as others ran near it in rage. we’re no longer barbarians, yet we still must kill what disturbs us. our fingernails have purple polish on them sinceContinue reading “to be human”

misunderstood

I used to keep all of my feelings nuzzled inside, and when they seeped out, I learned to joke to explain it all. Charm them! Or: I’d fight to say bare minimum. Walls. Highly sensitive, I didn’t know how to put words to feelings. Too many feelings! I sat in my front yard and ranContinue reading “misunderstood”

Catholic Guilt

6.27.18 A former busybody, persistently too involved with Others. My selflessness, just a facade: am I appearing kind enough? Sincerity melting away in the pool I am floating in. The sun heats the top of head. It doesn’t gleam. It taunts. On a quest for wisdom from the moon. (It hides from me.) Whisperings amongContinue reading “Catholic Guilt”

Burden

stay quiet in fear you may actually be seen. shout harsh words, spitting into the air like punches may be thrown. still a scared, scarred little girl controlling her commanding attention now. thinking before speaking: aren’t I wise? an analytical rant, followed by an ignorant and privileged aside. canibesmallercanibesmallercani anywhere that will seize me upContinue reading “Burden”

Shadow

11.21.18 I’m in a mood, I say. But this underlying chaos rises too close every time I speak. I’m just tired, I think. Clouds of puffy smoke dance inside of me, leaning against the Exit. I spot my shadow. She is impatient. She is a warrior, ready for this stagnancy to pass. Slow and steady,Continue reading “Shadow”

sharing our energy

7.14.18 we pass on catty words — that’s how we make friends, see? my hate is similar to your hate. we sigh and breathe insults at those we love or even better: leave a gust of silence so still it leaves puckered red marks circling our throats. we have mouths that speak these heavy words,Continue reading “sharing our energy”

M.A. (A Stray)

My anxiety softly touches my hair in an attempt to soothe my worries. My anxiety says dark things, half-seriously, in an attempt to make things light. I see a stray, Daisy, and she yells upon sight. She comes close, and sees I am a flower, too. We walk on, led by the sunlight. My anxietyContinue reading “M.A. (A Stray)”